I am tired again, have not been sleeping again. It’s just that the night time, when I should be asleep… that’s when I have people to talk to. Otherwise I am pretty much alone with my thoughts and that’s not a good thing at the moment. Besides yesterday was the moon day. Did you see it? I did. It was worth staying up for. Not that 4 am is a big deal for me anyway. Normally I can sleep during the day though. Get at least a little bit of sleep, a few hours. But bills must be payed and now that I finally have some money again it’s a little bit easier. Except for the fact that the thing I need to log in to my Internet bank is broken and I must pay to get a new one. Or go into town to the bank. So no sleep today. Yet.
It’s nothing new. The sleeping part. I’ve even mentioned how the non sleeping part makes the sad part so much worse. I do not recommend not sleeping when you’re in a bad place. I probably shouldn’t recommend taking more sleeping pills that the doctor ordered either, so don’t do that. I think that I will go back to doing that though. I need to sleep and I can’t on my own. Or with only one pill. This is bad, I know. There’s just not that much else I can do.
I go out every day, last night I was even out for a while around midnight. Looking at the moon. It was beautiful. The moonlight’s reflection in the water. The Ocean. Finland’s on the other side. Just a few hours by ferry. I go out, I take walks. As long as I can before the pain. It’s been bad a couple of days now. I walked too far the other day. It felt okay then, but it’s payback time now. I take pictures. Not with a camera, but with my tablet and my cell phone. There’s Macro on the tablet, gives me more options. More to toy with. It’s been sunny a couple of days now. Beautiful September days.
Had a little bit of a scare today. No, not a spider this time, but still. I can relate to Minecraft. That game I’ve told you about. Walking around in the Minecraft world I get lost. In the real world… taxi driver as I am… I should really not have this easy to get lost. I was driving around. Looking for new locations to walk and take pictures. NEW places. Places I never been, well it was a long time ago. Tiny roads in the forest going this way and that way and how would I ever know which way was home. No map, only trees and my phone… Did I mention I finally have money? For a while I didn’t have that much. I did actually not have any. At all. Paying the phone bill or food? Phone bill or food? My cell phone is cut off. So is my tablet. I can call the emergency number but that’s it. No houses, only trees. Everything looking kind of the same. But you know, I’m home now. The road I was on just made a loop so I ended up where I started. Lucky me!!! Yeah? No, I don’t think so. Not time for lucky me right now. I’m tired and sad. Could have been worse, maybe. Tired, sad and lost. I had a sandwich with me and it’s not that cold yet. I could have done lost for a while. Would have given me something to think about instead of… Never mind.
I’m going to write this and then I’ll take my pills and sleep. Five pm, perfect time to go to bed. Dinner time. Not really that hungry. Ate a sandwich at one. I’m even boring myself though. I’m sorry. I’m forcing my thousand words today. They do not come voluntarily. Connecting with Swedish people today on Instagram. I guess that is what happens when you use #Sweden. Right? If you want to see my photos, just ask and I’ll let you know how to find me. Here, Twitter, Google plus, wherever. It’s nothing special, just views from around my home. I mostly photograph nature. Or try to get a good picture of my cat. She doesn’t like being photographed. I can relate. I don’t either. It’s not a selfie account. Or party people. I started taking pictures when I realized how many amazing views I passed when out and about with the taxi. And I have tried to keep it up even after the accident. It’s a nice way to get out again. That’s one thing I really loved about driving a taxi. You were out there all the time. No matter what weather or season, or time of day. You never knew where you would end up during the day. Some journeys were very long. Sometimes it would be five or six hours, one way. And the all the way back again. Passing many beautiful places. I miss that. There is a special feeling of freedom getting in a car and just drive.
Met so many people too. The stories I have about the people!!! Some talk some don’t. Some you spent hours with on those long drives. Some just a few minutes. And in between there was a lot of time alone. To think, to listen to music, really loud, sing. I loved all of it. The other drivers, no matter what company. We all got along. The town isn’t that big. We knew each other. I want that job back, but the company is no more. Bankrupt a year ago. Eh, well. I can’t work anyway. The doctors still don't allow it. To be honest, I could really use the money too. I may be greedy, but I kind of like to eat at least once per day. Whether I am hungry or not.
Guess I made it today after all. One thousand words. Thanks if you made it this far. Sorry I was so boring. We can sleep now…
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