Bad blue light

Is there anyone else besides me that have problems sleeping? Problems with falling asleep, or not sleeping long enough? Do you use your phone or tablet before going to sleep? One final check on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram? Read an e-book? Play a lot of video games on your computer at night? Watch TV shows or movies on your computer before going to sleep? All the things that I do. Well. Research says that the blue light from these screens has a negative effect on the sleeping center. Normally we’re supposed to wake up when it gets light outside and get tired and fall asleep when it gets dark. I think I heard or read somewhere that normal electric light disturbs that routine, but the blue light from phones, tablets and computer screens does apparently have a measurable impact. Makes it more difficult to fall asleep and can also cause sleep to last for a shorter time than it otherwise would. A couple of hours away from these screens before going to bed can be the solution to, at least, some sleep problems. I am a big consumer of blue light screens and I have serious sleep problems. Coincidence? I had sleep problems before my smart phone and tablet too. They didn’t say anything about TV, but I believe that has a similar blue light. That’s what it looks like if you stand outside and look into a room where the TV is on, anyway.Maybe I should try, but what would I do instead of my NCIS LA until I fall asleep. I am not on Twitter as much as before and I try to be moderate with Instagram. I don’t play the video game on my phone either. Right now I am knitting a warm scarf, so my hands are kept busy for tonight anyway.

Last night I did fall asleep at a reasonable hour and I woke up early this morning. I have not slept anything during the day and I’m beginning to feel a little bit tired. I have been rather tired though so the cooking part has been nonfunctional. There’s always something not working, isn't there?

I didn’t go and get a new headset either. A friend suggested I should, so I can make Minecraft videos, but it’s not as if I ever did any talking in them before so there’s not really anything that suggests I’d do that now either. And for Skyping I guess I could download the app to my phone. That way it could be used as something that at least has some phone similarities and not just as a camera. Not having a mic would also be the perfect excuse for not going on Teamspeak if I ever should go back online on a server with other people.

To be honest, I have been feeling really sick about that all day. Should I go and buy a new headset or not. Today was the last day they were on sale. For now. But the ones I want are still very expensive and I don’t have that much money. In a way I think I still might want them. At least when it’s summer again, windows open, people outside, too much noise to sleep. My old headset was very good at blocking out surrounding sounds. People I’d Skype with would hear people talking outside my house and I wouldn’t.

I’ve been having panic attacks, even though I’ve taken a lot of pills. Nothing would make me feel better. My stomach hurts and I feel sick, as if I’m going to throw up. I feel weak, as if my legs wouldn’t carry me if I tried to walk. Head hurting, tired, sleepy. It’s amazing how many physical symptoms I can have when there’s something scary I have to do. Or, I didn’t have to, maybe I just wanted to. But at the same time. It was a lot of money I don’t have. Well. I do have them right now, but I do also have bills I need to pay. Technically I guess I could buy a cheaper set, but that can be expensive too. Sometimes you get more if you pay more. Sometimes cheap isn’t good enough. The perfectionist talking. And that’s so weird considering I have practically only used the headphones part of the set. Microphone and me is not that close friends. It’s just that… I was kind of thinking that I should try anyway. The fact that the set broke is a perfect excuse to get away from doing that challenge, to actually have a video where I talk. It’s really stupid how I just can’t do it. Maybe in the future, if I can save some money I can afford to get a new headset and try to make that video with my crummy voice and my crappy accent. Never good enough.

It’s a little bit funny though, how I can be so completely unable to talk and not have the same problem at all when it comes to writing. I mean, it’s not as if I believe myself to be an expert at writing in English either. There are many writing rules that differ between Swedish and English and I do not know all of them or any. Spelling is one thing because of spell check, but there’s so many other things that define a language. What words you chose, how you formulate a sentence, sayings, idioms, word order, expressions. Still it doesn’t bother me as much. There has been times, with my old blog there was a time when I gave up, when I couldn’t write because everything seemed to come out wrong. That only lasted a short while though and now I try my best, but I know I fail and I don’t really care that much. Still I am the perfectionist who’s never good enough so when I say I try, I do really try. Google is my friend as well as www.bab.la. Maybe one day I can move past the irrational fear of talking as well. Maybe. Today Could be that day, but I have no mic…

Take care, have fun, but beware the blue light at night!!! See you tomorrow, maybe.