Today I’ve been a good girl. Probably because of the Miso soup I had this morning before going to sleep. Yeah. going to sleep in the morning was still happening, but anyway. I was lucky to find a whole box of Miso soup unopened in my cupboard as I was going through the remains in hope of finding something edible. Soup and some old, dried tortilla bread I had missed before. Not the greatest combination, but the soup was warm. Noodles for dinner and Miso soup for breakfast… Who would have known that the black haired Minecraft girl with the Japanese sounding name would actually eat Japanese food? But I do, in fact one of my closest friends is an expert at making Sushi. For a self trained Swedish girl anyway.
I said I had been a good girl. Definitely regarding my sleeping hours, but I did manage to drag myself to the store. And my car did start. After one week of this terrible cold it’s not a guarantee. Even if my car sits in a garage it’s no heating in there, it’s not isolated and the snow does creep in through the crack under the door. It’s warmer than outside, but in this cold and when the car isn’t used every day it can still be a problem. The first sound wasn’t too hopeful, but it started before I even had time to start worry. I took a drive out to the ferry port just to get it warmed up. So dark out there, could only see the red lights on top of the wind power tower things. I have no idea what they are called and I don’t feel like Googling. I am late enough as it is.
I do have one of those motor heating things that I don’t know what they’re called either, maybe you don’t even have them. Everybody or every car up here where I live do. It’s a must. It’s an electric thing that preheats the engine. That makes it start easier in the cold and it’s also better for the environment. A warm engine leaves less pollution. Or so they say. So, it’s a good thing, but I have no idea where my cable has gone. I totally blame my mother. Last winter was never this cold so I never needed it and before then it was all under my mother's reign. Before, when I had my car outside all the time I used it every day. One reason being that you can connect another heater inside the car so it’s warm and nice when you get in it, and the windows are clear from all frost and ice. It doesn't have to be that cold before you need to worry about that. Not in a garage though, lucky me.
Why was I good? Like I’ve been trying to explain for a while now, I got up and out and to the store. It felt okay, no faintedness or anything like that. I know that’s not a word any of you have heard before, probably because I just made it up. Or maybe it is a word. It is now, in that sentence anyway. What I meant to say is that I felt okay. I didn’t only manage to get the usual things I normally pick up as fast as I can and move on. I did actually buy the ingredients necessary to finally cook some food for the freezer. I have a lot of plastic containers I have washed for this purpose. It’s old containers I bought ready made salad in, we have this beetroot salad that is so great with meatballs. I use to buy this when I had to live on recycled bottles. The money I got was just enough for a package of meatballs, the salad and a coke. I could have bought cheaper stuff, but I don’t like the ready made, frozen hamburgers they have in that store, or their french fries. The store where I recycle that is. I could just get the money and got to the other store, but it felt like unnecessary trouble. Anyway, maybe I will be able to cook some food myself tomorrow. That would be great.
So, I mentioned that I didn’t sleep well last night. Again. I mentioned this already yesterday, that I was feeling sad for some unknown reason. It kept me from sleeping even though I did get very tired. Kept watching NCIS Los Angeles all night, playing Rubix Cube on my phone. I managed to break one record, but it’s difficult, ny now I’ve done it a thousand times or so. No big challenge, in fact no challenge at all. Just something to occupy my hands and mind when I get to that point where I can’t follow what’s happening in the show anymore and my mind goes back to the old track, need to check social media… It’s even easier to follow what happens in the show if I play at the same time. For a while I have been knitting or crocheting instead, but that keeps me up longer and it’s necessary to keep the hands above the cover when I do that, and it’s cold out there. And yes, I know how to do those things, knitting and crocheting. That’s one of the few good things about my mother, she taught me a lot of those kinds of things. Even sewing and embroidery and such. I Am a good girl!
Since I seem to be on some kind of high today as opposed to yesterday's low. Makes me almost feel bipolar though I know I am not and I know it’s a terrible disease. An old relative of mine suffered from it and it was no fun for her husband to keep it all together sometimes. When she was manic we’d all get a lot of mail with all kinds of newspaper clippings she thought we’d find interesting. She was a really wonderful old lady though and I miss her a lot. But as I said, I feel high today. And that’s why I am going to try something different. As I’ve mentioned above I can cook, sew, knit and do all sorts of things, yesterday I said I care about other people and I have a lot of empathy. I try my best to be a kind person, I forgive almost anything and I give people many, many chances if they should make a mistake. No one is perfect. I’m not either, but from what I just said I do have some good qualities. How come no one has found that out yet? How come everyone leaves me?
And now I’m low and sad again. Order restored. Just kidding,
Take care out there!!!
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