Finally got my right tires on, finally got to go to the store. Almost fainted again, but I managed to get some frozen pizza. Even a frozen pizza tastes really good when you haven’t had one in months. Tomorrow I hope I’ll be in better condition so I can stock up for real. Having the right tires also means that I can go out and take more pretty pictures of the snowy nature. Though it’s very cold out. -20 degrees C or -4 F depending on which scale you use. It’s very cold either way. The snow makes a cracking noise under the shoes when you walk. If that wasn’t a word it is now, it’s the sound really cold snow make when you walk on it. Definitely a word. Or maybe not.
Any way I did sleep some last night, woke up at a more reasonable hour and I don’t have a headache anymore. Pretty good day at least according to the standard as my days normally have, especially when we’re still in the dark times of the year. I’m working on getting things back on track and since today was the last of our Swedish mid winter holidays the pharmacy will be open again tomorrow. I’ll be able to get my prescription refilled, more sleeping pills. Maybe some more of the power pain pills since I used them all yesterday. It’s good to have some at home even though I don’t use them that often, they are classified as narcotics. I am not addicted though, I only take them when I am in serious pain that isn’t my back pain. Sometimes my whiplash acts up and get really painful. I don’t normally take them for migraines either, but I had no other painkillers at home and the pharmacy was closed, so…
With my car in order, kind of, at least it’s a little bit safer on our winter roads, I will hopefully not run out of food again. Not that I was completely out, but I haven’t been eating enough. That’s why I almost faint in the store. Walking around getting my supplies, even when I don’t stop to look for specific things is all I can take, when I have to wait in line to pay it get’s too much. It’s not exactly as if the world is spinning, it’s more like it sometimes disappears, it goes dark,and it takes every ounce of stubborn focus to be able to walk out of there. Sometimes I’ve had to leave my groceries and go sit down or I would fall down. It’s not especially pleasant. The cashiers have been kind enough to pack it for me, asking if they should call someone, but just a little bit of rest and I could make it out to my car and then it’s just about taking it slow. I don’t drive when I feel I’m about to faint, I don’t want to cause any accidents, maybe hurting someone else. But I feel a bit better sitting down, it doesn’t take as much energy I guess. And then I sit in my garage waiting for a long time before I feel like I can go inside. I have a plan that I will begin working on tomorrow, I hope. It involves cooking a large portion of food and put it in my freezer so that it’s easy to just heat and eat. When I feel too faint I am not really in a mood for any elaborate cooking. That’s why I have lived on hamburger meat only for a long time, sometimes I’d make french fries, if I had the patience. Three pieces of frozen hamburger in the frying pan, one for dinner, one for breakfast and one for the cat. Cheap, fast and easy. Sometimes I’d microwave some frozen vegetables just to get some variation and a little bit of green stuff. But if I really want to come back, start my training again, get back to life again I need to eat a little bit better and more regularly. It’s been really difficult with my diabetes medication when I barely eat anything. My blood sugar levels get too low anyway. It takes time to turn a ship around though and Rome wasn’t built in one day. I’ll get there, it is getting brighter every day. The darkness will be lifting this year too, there will be spring and even a summer when it never gets completely dark. Someone said what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger except tigers. Tigers will kill you. So technically the saying still holds since the tigers fall under the first category, right. Same with crocodiles.
I have been watching NCIS New Orleans the last couple of nights. I have watched the original twice from start to finish so I wanted to try something new. And, they have crocodiles in New Orleans apparently. Whoopsidaisies. An agent running through some shrubs to get a computer a bad guy tossed away and there it was. I guess the croc was as surprised as the agent though because it didn’t attack. Maybe it was just sunbathing on the river banks and didn’t want to be disturbed. After watching almost all of season one I feel as if it is an okay version of NCIS. In the beginning I was very doubtful, it didn’t seem as good as the original at all and it lacked all the things I need from the original, the familiar characters, the familiar voices. Obviously the new people will be new. I still gave it a chance because I like the accents. I still think the original is best though. It’s kind of like when CSI started to have shows from other cities too. I only like the New York version with Gary Sinise. I don’t like that guy in Miami for some reason. CSI Miami that is.
Not been talking about the thing I’ve been avoiding since I came back. I think I am deliberately delaying my writing so that I’ll be in a hurry to get it done, because the one thing I really need to write about is difficult. Someday I’ll get there though, I think.
Thank you for staying with me and don’t forget to eat and sleep. Take care!!!
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