It happened again, sleeping all day, all evening. I just woke up in time to take the pills again last night. I suppose it was a little bit much going from no medication to taking two at once, maybe I should have just taken one to begin with. Twice now I have overslept my writing challenge. I was very tired today as well. Sleeping all day. I still take the pills in the evening though because I really want to sleep at night. I tried to wake up by watching NCIS LA, but I was too tired to really know what I was doing which resulted in the final breaking of my headphones. And I have no speakers connected to my computer. I need headphones or I’ll have no sound. They do still work if I have the cable in the exact right spot, but then I can’t move at all. In the end it got too annoying. I have set of earplugs that provides a really super sound, but therefore are very expensive. I use them only for listening to music. So afraid they will break so I don’t want to use them for sleeping. I had totally forgotten the earplugs I got with my tablet. I should really have found them before, so much better for sleeping in. And I wouldn’t have broken my headset, which also was kind of expensive. Not that I really used it that much, but now that I don’t have a microphone I find that slightly annoying anyway. They have headsets on sale on one of the stores in town, similar to the ones that got broken, but I don’t know. It’s still a lot of money and I don’t really have that much to spend. Especially considering the fact that I don’t really use the mic that much. Now I don’t know what to do. Get a new headset or just have sound? The sale is one more day.
My sleep problems seems to be a never ending story though. Either I don’t sleep at all or I never wake up. Sleeping too much can be a problem just as much as not sleeping at all. Even if it’s been a while since I had enough sleep it’s not as if you can take it back later. Sleeping too much is still bad. It’s not like a debt you can pay afterwards, with interest. Doesn’t quite work that way. I am still too tired, even when I’m awake. I’ve run out of freezer food and I’m just too tired to make more even though I have the necessary ingredients. I’m back to eating hamburgers again. Without bread, salad or anything on them. Having that cooked food has spoiled me a little though. I really don’t like the hamburgers anymore. I want the food I made. Hope I’m feeling better tomorrow. Maybe I should go into town as well, to check on a new headset.
As you might already have figured out, I don’t really know what to say today. I’m just rambling random things. Nothing that makes much sense. It’s one of those days when nothing goes right and everything is just boring or sad. One of those days when everything goes wrong, you don’t know what to do and don’t really want to do anything. Bored Beyond Belief. Sad because things break. Annoyed because you know it’s your own fault it broke. You did something wrong, you weren't thinking. And fixing it is going to cost a lot of money that you don’t really have. That’s when I go to sleep to never wake up. I don’t want to wake up. I want to sleep, dream, forever. Is that why I sleep past my deadline or is it just the pills? There’s probably something I’m trying to avoid, something I should do that I don’t want to do. I do that sometimes. Hide my head in the sand so I don’t have to see the things I want to avoid, hide so I can pretend it doesn’t exist. Hiding in sleep, online, in videos, in books, in games, in whatever it takes so I don’t have to see and do the things I don’t want to do for some reason. Forgetting that I have bills to pay because paying them gives me a panic attack, that’s just one example. But there are other things too. Just going to the store, or going out can be enough of a problem. Scary stuff. Better hide behind feeling tired, go back to bed and keep on sleeping as if the problem would go away, not get worse. It doesn’t go away, though, it does actually just get worse.
I’m sure I’m sounding completely nuts right now. I feel nuts. I took my sleeping pills quite some time ago, they may be beginning to work. My neck hurts too. It does that when I sleep too much, lie down too much. It’s very sensitive. I have special pillows, but since I don’t lie still they get moved and my neck doesn’t get the necessary support. I did get more power pain pills that I could take. Another type of pills that would make me sleep. I have overslept many appointments and even work, because of those pills. Until my doctor said that I should not drive after taking those pills. Makes sense, doesn’t it. Thing is though, I’ve taken other pills, kinda similar, also classified as narcotic medicine, but they wouldn’t make me sleepy. I have pretty high tolerance when it comes to pain killers. The pills that is, not the game. The games scares me like crazy. It’s a steam game if you don’t know what it is.
Anyway, I have almost reached the magic number, almost one thousand words. The words today were not good, they made no sense and I am still just rambling. This may be the absolute low point of my blogging experience. I am so sorry for having put you through it, but it’s this or nothing. Maybe it would have been better to go with nothing. I’ll be back, trying to do better tomorrow.
Thank you and take care!!!
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