I give up

I give up on ever sleeping like a normal person. I give up on the pharmacy, or at least on me ever getting there. That means I have to give up on the sleeping pills as well. It’s just not happening. Sleep, that is. I said yesterday that I’d go get those pills even if I had been up all night. That did obviously not happen, as you might have guessed. Today it was past one in the afternoon before I finally fell asleep, almost two. Then I woke up about four, thirty. Not a lot of sleep. Just like yesterday. I was so tired too. Tired all night, but sleeping was impossible. My mind was working serious overtime. Oddly enough it thought out a lot of nail art ideas that I could do with the limited skills and resources I have. Not exactly a thing you expect will keep you up all night, right? But I guess that’s what I get from watching nail art videos to help me fall asleep. Counter productive as most things I seem to do, nowadays. Watching nail art videos and, of course, NCIS LA all night, all morning. Nightmares from the TV show the few hours I sleep. I think it might be the many rear windows they shoot out that could be the problem. They always do that, every episode. The exploding cars is just every second or third episode. One episode they just see a car sitting on the curb and they chase after it on foot, attempting to shoot at it. I was surprised it got away with the window intact, but the car was bombed later so order was restored. Thing was though, as they ran after it, aiming at it, they didn’t know who the driver was, if it was a bad guy or not. It could have been anyone. Anyone who makes that get-away-car style of take-offs. I thought maybe the nightmares is a warning that I should stop doing that. Just kidding, I don’t. I am professional driver of a different kind.

Funny thing happened yesterday after I published my post. I wrote about the Universe’s influence over our life, or, at least I mentioned the possibility thereof since the video I was watching stopped working, forcing me to finally write my thousand words and post them, somewhat on time. I also said that I’d be very spooked if it would suddenly start working again after I finished my obligatory, daily writing session. And guess what! I didn’t get spooked, it didn’t miraculously start to work. Probably because the Universe wouldn’t want to spook me. Just kidding. It would just have been a much too big coincidence if it had. The order of doubt is still intact. We have no definite proof of a higher power controlling things. It’s still up to faith to decide what we want to believe in.

Since I didn’t manage to get up and go to the pharmacy I didn’t manage to get to a store either. It’s time to get more cat food, and probably some more frozen hamburgers and french fries. But I didn’t. Already last night I began to “steal” from the ingredients intended for my frozen food production and this afternoon I could either continue that idea and run out, before I got started with the planned cooking idea. So, I made a wise choice. I did actually manage to get it done today. I have four days of rice, sausage in sweet chili sauce and vegetables in the freezer. That is if this is the only food I eat all day. If I want a more varied menu, which means going back to my old version of hamburger for dinner and breakfast, then I’m good for a long time. Now, that’s something to be proud over. Right?

Maybe I’ll sleep better tonight after having done something right today. And the nail art problem is also solved, I have four different version on four nails and a fifth nail that demonstrate what happens when you fail completely and the color you used is very dark. None of the nails look good exactly, but it’s a start, and I don’t have to keep the idea in my head any longer, which means I ought to be able to sleep. I am also very tired, right now. I’ll probably try to sleep after I finished with this writing business of mine. And filled my bottle with water. And maybe had a snack to eat. Hmmm, it just never ends, does it?

Tonight I’ll try to stay away from from nail art, try to stay away from all variations of social media I’m addicted to. Maybe I should substitute NCIS LA with songs of David Bowie because of the sad news this morning. Heroes was my favorite song for a very long time. Until I found Comfortably numb with Pink Floyd. Bowie has done a lot of great music, in my opinion, and on social media most people seem to agree. Or maybe it’s just the people I follow. And I really like the movie Labyrinth. I do actually have a copy on DVD, as well as the movie that is sort of about him and Iggy Pop, Velvet Goldmine. Even if Bowie wasn’t too pleased with it, for obvious reasons, that reason also being one of the reasons why it’s a great film. I guess he really shocked a lot of people back then.

Even if you won’t really notice, I froze there for a while. I started thinking about the movies, the music and how he chose to live his life. It’s an amazing story, but I don’t know what more to say- So I went back to my old ways… checking social  media, replying to people, liking posts, follow back. So much work. No one has messaged me today though. Maybe they knew I was sleeping in and later that I was busy cooking and freezing. Talking about freezing though, it’s not as cold anymore. It’s a more reasonable -9 C/15 F. After that super cold day this weekend, this is no problem anymore. Everything is relative, you know. When it first becomes cold, this temperature is very cold, but now… not so much after that super low of -28 C/-18 F. Hope it doesn’t get that cold again. It was around -20 C/-4 F for a very long time. Somehow you get used to it.

Hope you’re not freezing, that all’s well. Bye for now and take care!!!