Wednesday, October 14, 2015

I'm not sure I'll make it....

It has finally happened. It caught me. I didn’t catch it. I didn’t want it. The cold. I’ve got it now. My head is filled with cotton. It’s the only way I can describe that special kind of headache that comes with a cold. It hurts, it’s annoyed somehow and it is not useful for anything really. Everything involving any kind of brain activity feels like very hard work, too hard work. Unfortunately that includes breathing. It’s okay as long as I don’t try to anything involving any kind of physical activity, like getting up for example. Sleeping feels like the only thing I am capable right now. Trying to write something that makes any kind of sense feels like a very difficult challenge at the moment. I am not sure if I can make it to a thousand today. By the way, it’s not exactly today in my time zone right now. It’s evening. Very close to the time where I try to get my posts published. I am aiming for roughly the same time every evening, my time, but it doesn’t always work out too well. Don’t think I will be done in time for that tonight, sorry.

I wanted to get up early to get those early morning photographs. That didn’t happen. I did sleep better though making me think that maybe it is a good idea to change the thoughts from “I can’t sleep” to “I can sleep”. I did go to bed and did sleep earlier than I’ve done in a while. Not early though. I’m still me, the person who has lived as if in the EST time zone for six months or so. Staying up all night, sleeping during the day if at all. Switching back to European time isn’t done overnight. But I did sleep. I did wake up, but while I was asleep the cold had found me. Getting up, going out did not feel like a good idea at all. The only thing I had strength enough to do was to turn around and go back to sleep. I woke up again just before noon. My regular waking up time this last week, but it still felt too early. When I woke up at two in the afternoon I had to accept the fact that I would have to get up. My search for food and drink made me realize I would actually have to go out too. So much for taking a break.

Feeling a hundred years old, so much for healing and getting better, I had to go to the store and since I was going out I had to bring my cameras. It was already getting dark, but night time photography is a fun challenge, right? Or it could be if you had the energy to do something. I got a really nice picture of the lamp outside my front door though. I should have left it there and gone back to bed again. Not that anything bad happened, it was just so exhausting. Like I said, feeling a hundred years old. Everything aches, you can barely move, and the little you can move makes you breathe like you’ve just run a marathon. Not a nice feeling. Didn’t really make the cotton in my head go away either. The painkillers I got at the store didn’t do the trick either. I am not sure I will make it today. I will fail, but I won’t give up. I will die trying. To write my thousand words I mean.

Of all the problems I have and have had with my health and injuries I think the headaches are the worst. I’ve had them ever since I was a little kid. For a period I had a terrible headache every Saturday. Not on a school day, but one of the two only days in week when you have time off and I had to spend one of them in a quiet, dark room, lying down because of my headache. My dad got them too and my mother would give me his pills so it got a little bit better. They never took me to a doctor though, maybe that would have been a good idea. I’ve been taking strong painkillers more or less all my life. The headache situation didn’t get much better after I got my first whiplash. Having migraine attacks that last 48 hours was very common for a long time. When they were at their peak I would throw up because of the pain. I learnt though that when I reached that point, when I threw up, that’s the turning point. From then on it would get better, still take another 24 hours, but you take whatever you get. When things are at their worst, they can only get better. Right? You just need to know when you have hit that spot. You need to know that this is it, now it can’t get worse.

These cold headaches though. With the cotton filling my head. They are really annoying and that really annoys me and I really don’t like being annoyed. Sinuses, the nose, the eyes, the face, the head, the cotton, it’s all aching, being irritated and irritating, annoyed and annoying. I just want to keep my eyes closed, I want to sleep. I am not sure if I will make it tonight. I am not sure I will get one thousand words together tonight. I managed to go out, I got some steps on that step counting app of mine, I got some pictures to post, I will probably fall asleep soon, but I will fail in getting my thousand words for today. It’s okay. I’m writing to heal and right now I am not healing at all. Right now I am giving it all up to a cold who caught me last night when I was sleeping. The dangers of sleeping…

Take care people, beware of the cold, it might be coming to get you too!!!
(1003 btw)

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