See how it changes your life...

The first time I did the thousand words a day challenge was over a year ago. I had my blog and I followed a lot of writers on Twitter. People with advice about blogging and writing and such. That’s how I found this challenge. It said something like this: “try ‘the write a thousand words a day challenge’ and see how it changes your life”. So I did.

At that time I was also very new on the lords of Minecraft server. A place where you role play with other people in a Minecraft world. Minecraft is a video game where you have to shop trees, make tools, find food, mine and fight monsters. Overly simplified, but that’s the basic idea. On the lords of Minecraft server you build your own house, but nothing else works as in the original game. You live in a town with other people, controlled by lords. All my friends from that server will probably have issues with that description, but I wasn’t going to talk about Minecraft or the server as such. So it’ll have to do for now.

My life at that time was pretty much being at home resting or going to the medical center for physiotherapy, meeting the doctor, tests… so many people. At home I had my roommate, I didn’t really meet that many people at all. Before the doctor told me I had to stay at home I was working as a taxi driver. Meeting new people all day long. I know I’ve mentioned that I told the doctor i would be bored and he replied I should find something that was fun. Writing my blog was fun, playing Minecraft was fun. But the time I’ve spent at home and with my mother being the difficult person she is I had become, more or less, afraid of people and I had started to have really difficult panic attacks. During the summer when everything closes I got used to not seeing anyone but the cashiers at the store.

There were a lot of people on the server. Being both new to servers and people I found it a little bit scary at times. I wasn’t on very much and I didn’t really talk to any people. Only when spoken to. Don’t want to be rude. But for the most part I stayed by myself exploring the town, trying to find the places where the lords had been building a new house or done something. When my house was done there wasn’t much else to do. Do your five minutes of work, buy food, go to the gym, read some books, maybe write a letter to a lord. Freaking out when he read it in a video. I forgot to say the lords make YouTube videos and stream on Twitch.

One evening one of the lords tweeted about there being an event on the server. Oktoberfest and how much fun it was. He had taken a screenshot and it looked like real fun. But a lot of people. I kind of wanted to go, but there were so many people. And I hadn’t written my thousand words for that day. I had to do that. Or I wanted to do that. Writing is fun too. I really love to write. And it was really late. I argued with myself in my writing. Reasons why I couldn’t go. They were many. Reasons why I should go. Only one. It looked like fun. Everything was against the server even, the Oktoberfest. So many reasons not to go, except there was really only one reason why I couldn’t go. I was afraid to. It probably sounds weird to everybody else, but I was really scared. And in my writing of the thousand words I realized that this was the real reason, because my wish to go was so much greater than my wish to do any of the other things. No other reason was a real reason, they were just excuses. The only reason was that I was too scared. To go to a party. Online. I wouldn’t even have to dress up. Or leave home. I wouldn’t meet anyone face to face. But I was still really afraid of going. And my writing self realized that my fear was the only reason not to go. And it was the biggest reason why I should go. I went.

That was the end of my writing challenge. I went to the Oktoberfest and it was so much fun. I really loved it and stayed all night. All of my night too. The first time in a long time I was up all night, but it was only the beginning of many, many allnighters. Even when the big event was over they still kept everything on the location as it had been during the weekend. I visited a few times when there was less people there. Still had fun. Sometime later came Halloween with a ghost house and I was there early, waiting in line forever. So much people, but I wasn’t afraid of a crowd anymore. Not like I’m going to get hurt for real, is it?

I didn’t expect the change from writing a thousand words a day would be to join a Minecraft server, but it was. Things changed that night and the reason was my arguing with myself in my writing. As I’ve said before, I use this to solve my problems, to sort through my thoughts, to figure stuff out. And I think it has helped me more than any form of expensive therapy could have,

Sometimes the reasons we tell ourselves, the reasons why we choose to do something or not to do something… sometimes the reasons are excuses and the real reason is something else. When you find that reason it may change everything. Realizing it was my fear that was keeping me from joining the fun at the server, to face and fear and just go… that has changed my life. Not only on the server but my real actual life. And I don’t regret giving up on the challenge back then. I have gained so much more. Most important of all so many really good friends. I guess sometimes what we need the most isn’t what we expect it to be and by being open to opportunities we can get a lot more that we ever could have dreamed of.

Thank you!!!